X-rated ‘penis-shaped’ design slammed by real estate agent

One couple on this season of The Block were left scrambling during Wednesday night’s episode after getting some very negative feedback from the real estate agent who’ll be tasked with selling their home.

As real estate agent David Wood from Belle Property drops by The Block’s construction site for a visit, South Australian couple Daniel and Jade are particularly proud of one statement piece they’ve designed for their kitchen: a combined island bench and dining table, designed to “draw the eye,” as Jade puts it.

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One look at the plans and it’s clear Wood is worried.

“What did you think when you saw that big round bench that protruded out across the walkway?” a producer asks when the couple are out of earshot.

“It looked like a penis to me,” says Wood.

A 4.1m long penis, to be exact:

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Wood raises his concerns to the couple, calling the bench – which was a change from the architect’s original plans – a major “red flag”: “A bench like that with stools around it, I’ve never seen it work well,” he explains.

“I’ve never seen an extended island bench-quasi-dining space ever work. I’ve never had buyers come in and say ‘I love that’.”

That tough feedback snaps Jade and Daniel into action: “He literally said, ‘I don’t think I’m going to be able to sell this for you’, which is very concerning,” says Daniel.

It’s a scramble to change back from the “unsellable kitchen” they’ve created. After half an hour of phone calls to suppliers, frantic measurements and hastily redrawn plans, Daniel and Jade present Kitchen 2.0.

But confusingly, the ‘penis bench’ remains – just moved to a different spot:

They may have placated their real estate agent, but will the couple’s phallic benchspace score them a buyer?

Fans should expect big changes as this season of The Block wears on, as the episodes, filmed months in advance, catch up to the coronavirus pandemic.

Host Scott Cam revealed on the Fifi, Fev & Byron show last month that open inspections ahead of the auctions will be a no-go this year – a first for the show.

“Usually we get around 20,000 there, open for inspections are completely gone, individual inspections at the moment there’s nothing happening because of lockdown. We’re not sure what’s going to happen at auction,” he said.

The Block continues 7pm Sunday on Nine.

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