How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!
Dear How to Do It,
The first time I (34, female) saw my boyfriend (40, male) have an orgasm, I thought he was having a seizure: For a solid 10 minutes (not exaggerating), he alternately writhed around like he was being electrocuted, barked like a walrus, got stiff as a board, started to drool, etc., etc. It scared the hell out of me until he finally came out of it and said, “Oh, yeah, I have intense orgasms sometimes. I should have warned you. Sorry … ”
The thing is, he has orgasms like this every time. It is simultaneously the most beautiful and hysterical thing I’ve ever witnessed. That said, I know this isn’t normal, and it can be